The XMen Evolution Experience
by Red Witch
Summary: The X-Men decide to open tours of the mansion to the public. Can you say bad idea? I knew you could.


**The disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has stayed behind in Orlando, Florida. I came back from my trip and I've got a lot of crazy ideas in my head. Such as, what if they made a ride out of X-Men Evolution? Here's my idea behind it. **

**The X-Men Evolution Experience**

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this open house of the Xavier Institute for the Gifted," Charles Xavier spoke to the group. "I am Professor Charles Xavier. The students here sometimes call me Professor X. I am a telepath but don't be alarmed, I don't go into other people's minds. However sir, could you please do me a favor and please **stop** thinking about Eva Longoria in a cheerleader's outfit? It's rather distracting."

"Charles do you really think this is a good idea?" Logan asked him. "Having a tour group tromping all around and gawking at everything like it's a mutant zoo or something?"

"This is Logan, code named Wolverine," Xavier said. "He's in charge of Security and training here at the Institute. Logan don't worry. It's going to be fine."

"I've heard **that **before," Logan rolled his eyes.

"Please step on board your tour vehicle," Xavier pointed to an open tour vehicle. "And your tour around the mansion grounds will begin shortly."

"You're gonna have them tool around in that extra long golf cart? This is a **bad** idea," Logan growled.

"It is **not** a bad idea," Xavier said. "We need to show people that mutants are not a threat to humans. By opening up our campus and showing these good people what goes on here they will understand our lives."

"That's what I'm afraid of!" Logan said. "Hence the _bad idea_ part!"

"If you are so concerned Logan you can ride along with our tour guide," Xavier said. "Ah here she comes now."

"Hi Everyone! I'm Kitty Pryde!" Kitty walked up to them and got into the cart. "They call me Shadowcat and I'll be your tour guide around the Xavier Institute."

"Uh oh…" Logan blanched. "Her? You picked **her** to drive them around?"

"Yes," Xavier said.

"What? Danica Kirkpatrick wasn't available?" Logan barked. "You know what? I'm just gonna keep tabs on the tour using our communicators. I don't really need to ride in that thing. Uh…This tour cart thing does have a _seat belts_ right?"

"Yes," Xavier said.

"Strap 'em on folks!" Logan barked to the group. "**Trust me** on this! And keep your arms and legs inside at all times. And hold onto your hats and other personal items!"

Everyone followed his advice whether they believed him or not. "Logan it's like going to be totally fine!" Kitty said. "Now everyone get ready! We're about to take a ride around the mansion!"

"Stand back! She's gonna blow!" Logan gulped.

"Logan it will be fine! These tour carts are only designed to go only so fast," Xavier said.

SCREEEECH! VROOOM!

"And exactly **how fast** were they designed to go?" Logan asked as the tour cart pulled off at a breakneck speed. "Just barely able to break the sound barrier?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have had Forge design the engines?" Xavier gulped.

"You think?" Logan snapped. "Kitty! Kitty this is Logan! Watch out for that last curve!"

SCREECH! VROOM!

"Whoops! There goes another statue," Kitty said. "Now we're gonna go into the back yard and see what the gang is doing!"

"MUTANT BALL!"

All around the vehicle tiny explosions, fireworks and ice blasts were seen. "Hey watch it you guys!" Kitty said. "Let's go somewhere else shall we?"

VROOOM!

"KITTY! WATCH OUT FOR THE WALL! YOU'RE GONNA CRASH INTO THE WALL!" Logan shouted.

VROOM!

"YOU WENT **THROUGH** THE WALL!" Logan yelled. "AND INTO THE MANSION!"

"Sorry! The brakes are a little slow on this thing!" Kitty said. "But no worries!"

CRASH! SMASH! VROOOM!

"YIKES!" A dozen Multiples were knocked down. "Watch where you're driving! You almost ran over a couple of me!"

"If you don't like the way I drive, get out of the hallway!" Kitty snapped. "Hey as long as we're inside the mansion, how about a trip to see the Danger Room in action? Now where's that elevator?"

VROOOM! SCREECH! CRASH!

"Kitty! Ya dang fool! You're getting tire marks all over the rug again!" Rogue shouted as she barely got out of the way.

"Oh here it is! An extra large service elevator we use to uh…Bring really heavy stuff down," Kitty maneuvered the tour cart into the large elevator. "Now to go down…"

DROP!

"AAAAAAHHH!"

WHUMP!

"Boy we really have to check the shocks on this thing," Kitty said as she drove the tour cart out of the elevator without bothering to wait for the doors to open. "Okay down this hallway is the Danger Room! Let's check it out!"

Again she phased the cart through the doors of the Danger Room. Inside was Scott, Jean, Ray and Storm running a program. A program filled with laser shooting robots, giant buzz saws and lighting. A lot of lightning.

ZAP!

FLASH!

BUZZ!

"Whoa! Close call!" Kitty gulped.

"Kitty what are you **doing** in here?" Scott yelled. "Never mind! DUCK!"

ZAP!

FLASH!

"GIANT BOULDER!" Someone screamed as a giant bolder appeared. "IT'S GONNA SQUASH US!"

Jean caught it at the last minute with her telekinetic powers. "Kitty! Get these people out of here! I've got it!"

"Got it! Hang on folks!" Kitty phased the tour cart through the walls and ended up in another room.

Inside were Forge and Kurt who were working on something attached to a giant portal. And Kitty's tour car was headed right for it. "Kitty! No! Get away! This is a dimensional portal we're…"

VROOM!

WHOOSSH!

BUMPTY! BUMPTY BUMPTY BUMP!

"Oops, uh nothing to be worried about folks," Kitty said as the cart shook. "We're just in a portal between dimensions! Nothing to worry about! This happens all the time! Hey I'll bet you never seen another dimension before have you? Let's see where this one leads us?"

"RAARRRRR!" They were in a huge expansion of molten lava, red rock, steam and very large hungry dinosaur like monsters with rather sharp teeth.

"Wrong way!" Kitty made a hairpin turn. "Hang on! I'm gonna head back! It's gonna get a little bumpy!"

SCREE! VROOOM!

"RAAARRRRRRRRRRR!"

"That's not the right way! Hang on! I see it!" Kitty shouted as she drove back. "Phew this place stinks!"

WHOOSH!

BUMPITY! BUMPITY! WHUMP!

"WHOO HOOO! Uh oh!" Kitty gulped as the car leapt out of the dimensional portal but headed straight for the wall again. And again Kitty used her powers to phase through the walls.

"Nothing to worry about folks! I can phase through almost anything!" Kitty said. "You would not believe how handy that is while I'm driving! I've avoided at least a dozen accidents using this power. Okay I've caused a few too but still…"

SCREECH!

"Okay here we are back in the Danger Room but don't worry!" Kitty said cheerfully. "Everything is…"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Going to be…" Kitty looked up and saw several giant robots towering over her. "Just…fine. Uh oh…This could be a problem. HANG ON!"

Kitty barely drove the tour vehicle out of the way of the Sentinel's laser blasts. "WHO'S THE IDIOT THAT LEFT THE SENTINEL PROGRAM RUNNING IN THE DANGER ROOM?" Kitty shouted.

"KITTY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT OF THERE!" Logan's voice burst out on the intercom.

"Uh yeah, that's what I'm **trying **to do!" Kitty snapped as she drove recklessly in order to get away from the Sentinels.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

VROOM! VROOM!

"Hey here's an idea! How about someone shutting this program **off?**" Kitty shouted as she narrowly avoided the laser blasts and the giant feet. "Oh forget it! Hang on! We're going to take another shortcut!"

"No Kitty! No more shortcuts!" Logan shouted.

Too late. Kitty drove through the wall again. This time they ended up in the hanger bay. "Hey look there's the X-Jet. And it's coming straight at us!"

"Hey! Get off the runway! The X-Jet is trying to land here!" Hank was heard shouting.

SCREECH!

"Uh guys, we missed the jet but the breaks are kind of stuck!" Kitty shouted. "We're out of control!"

"You've been out of control ever since you got behind the wheel of that stupid cart!" Logan shouted. "Iceman! Make a snowdrift to slow them down! A huge one!"

"One snowdrift coming up!" Bobby shouted.

Then a large pile of snow appeared out of nowhere. "BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Kitty shouted.

WHAM!

FOOM!

"And that ladies and gentlemen concludes our tour of the Xavier Institute," Kitty coughed as she brushed snow off of her uniform. "Uh hi Logan, Professor. I think the tour went well."

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! THESE MUTANTS ARE CRAZY!" Someone screamed. Other people screamed too.

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"I WANT MY LAWYER! I'M GONNA SUE!"

"Yeah I think these people got a **real good** idea of what our lives are like thanks to this tour, Chuck," Logan said sarcastically. "Got any other **bright ideas?"**

"Just get me my aspirin," Xavier sighed.


End file.
